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My Own Hell To Raise

Is there anybody out there who is lost and hurt and lonely too?

Are they bleeding all your colours into one?

And if you come undone as if you've been run through some catapult that fired you, you wonder if your chance will ever come

Or if you're stuck in square one

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fickle
[info]fickle_flower
Born to blossom, Bloom to perish

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December 2009
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Expressions

Won't do no good to hold no seance
What's gone is gone and you can't bring it back around
Won't do no good to hold no searchlight
You can't illuminate what time has anchored down

What you did to me
Made me see myself somethin' awful
A voice once stentorian
Is now again weak and muffled

What wasted unconditional love
On somebody
Who doesn't believe in the stuff
Oh well

I'm undecided about you again
Mightn't be right that you're not here
It's double-sided, cause I ruined it all
But also saved myself, by never believing you, Dear

I don't know what I'm doing, don't know, should I change my mind? I can't decide, there's too many variations to consider
No thing I do don't do no thing but bring me more to do, it's true, I do imbue my blue unto myself, I make it bitter

But then the dove of hope began its downward slope
And I believed for a moment that my chances were approaching to be grabbed
But as it came down near, so did a weary tear
I thought it was a bird but it was just a paper bag

And I went crazy again today, lookin' for a strand to climb
Lookin' for a little hope

They don't know I used to sail the deep and tranquil sea
But he washed my shore and he took my pearl
And left and empty shell of me

But, oh, it's so evil, my love, the way you've
no reverence to my concern
So I'll be sure to stay weary of you, love,
to save the pain of
Once my flame and twice my burn

I tell you how I feel, but you don't care
I say tell me the truth, but you don't dare
You say love is a hell you cannot bear
And I say gimme mine back and then go there - for all I care

This mind, this body, and this voice
Cannot be stifled by your deviant ways
So don't forget what I told you
Don't come around
I got my own hell to raise

I wouldn’t know what to do with another chance
If you gave it to me
I couldn’t take the embrace of a real romance
It’d race right through me
I’m much better off the way things are
Much much better off, better by far, by far

Honey help me out of this mess
I'm a stranger to myself
But don't reach for me, I'm too far away
I don't wanna talk 'cuz there's nothing left to say
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